Status Update

Got my car back. My AC was broken.

Decided I want a new couch, but I want to make it. I’ve been seeing so many cool ideas for DIY couches on Pinterest.

I have readings and quizzes for school today. Got a lot of that done, too.

No, I Haven’t Dropped Off the Face of the Earth

I’m just busy with school and all.

I actually saw this coming, which is one of the reasons why I stopped self-hosting and went back to WordPress hosting. I may self-host again in the future, but it makes no sense to pay for a domain I don’t use.

I love being in school. I love learning. And I finally conquered algebra after 30 years and I am no longer afraid of math and science.

Oh, and my 9th grade algebra teacher can suck it. You were sooooo wrong about me!

At the moment, I’m busy writing a paper for English 101, starting the final project for First Year Seminar and hoping to finish Math 095 before Thanksgiving.

In a couple days, I will register for spring semester.

I will write more on the transition to school when I have a little more time. It’s been interesting.

Five Things Nobody Tells You About Bifocals

Well, it happened.

I had to get bifocals.

I knew that the time would come. After all, I’m over forty and that’s usually when most people get their first pair of bifocals. I did delay the inevitable, and not for reasons having to do with vanity. I was broke.

So I compensated the best I could. I pretty much exclusively used my Kindle for reading books because one can enlarge the font and nobody else has to know. Since my near vision was going to hell, small print on paper or in a book all ran together and morphed into something resembling a foreign language that I could not decipher. It was either peer over the tops of my glasses and endure the headache or give up reading print books altogether.

While I really didn’t want to be seen carrying books out of my local library with that large yellow and black label on the spine that screams LARGE PRINT! THIS LADY IS OLD AND NEEDS BIFOCALS, I still wanted to read physical books. I checked out books based upon print size. I would open a book to a random page and if it print morphed into Slovenian, the book went back on the shelf. Needless to say, this limited the books I could check out.

You don’t realize how tiny print is until you can’t read it.

Soon, I would start school, and I knew it would be difficult to continue to compensate for tiny print, because the last time I checked, I didn’t see any college text books offered in large print. I’m already older than most of my classmates (as in old enough to be their mother). I didn’t want or need more things in my life to point this out.

So, I got the exam and the new glasses. I’d heard that some people have trouble adjusting to bifocals, but that’s all I heard about it. I heard this mostly from people who had difficulty getting used to them and then complaining incessantly about it.

Now that I have bifocals, I have discovered that there are other things that nobody tells you. Such as….

1. You have to point your nose and chin at the object you are looking at to ensure you’re looking at it through the proper lens.  It’s not enough to move your eyes alone, like I have been doing for the last 37 years (I was seven when I started wearing glasses). You have to move your head. Do you know how hard it is to unlearn 37 years worth of a habit that you also did BEFORE you had glasses (which actually makes it a 44 year habit)?

Well, do you???

Even when you want to make a change, it’s still difficult to do the older you are. The “new glasses eyestrain” just gives me the urge to start complaining incessantly about bifocals.

2. The transition to no-line bifocals (which is what I have) is so subtle that sometimes, my lenses appear to be dirty and smudged in one spot when I’m really looking through the wrong part of the lens. Although I’m pretty sure I’d hate standard bifocals, part of me wishes you could use them as “training glasses”.

Speaking of training, why not have “training bifocals”? We have “training” other things. I had training wheels on my first bike. I wore a training bra (although I still don’t know to this day, what you are “training”). I wore old school “training pants” when I was being potty trained. I had driver’s ed training. Why not bifocals training?

3. The “new prescription” vertigo that comes with glasses is worse than it is with single vision lenses. Steps are not your friend. Neither are curbs or any other thing you have to step up or step off of. I think it will be later and not sooner when I start doing step ups on the bench at the gym.

4. I have “bifocal practice”. Bifocal practice consists of a sheet of paper with words that get progressively smaller in font size so you can get used to having to point your nose/chin in the direction of what you are trying to read.  I was secretly hoping “bifocal practice” meant you have a coach who puts you through drills and teaches you the fundamentals of bifocal-wearing. That actually sounds better than a piece of paper.

5. The things other people say to you. Depending on the age of the audience, people will either a) make fun of you for being “old”; b) sympathize with you; c) say something along the lines of “Bifocals? Just wait until you have to get trifocals!”; or d) have no reaction until you joke about how well the bifocals go with your hot flashes. Then they act like like you just reminded them of their own mortality. Then they will say something like, “I’m freezing now, I wish I could have a hot flash”, to which I reply, “be careful what you wish for” before launching into a detailed, hyperbolic description of what hot flashes actually feel like.

Wow! That’s mean! You’re probably thinking this right now. Exaggerating things like hot flashes, morning sickness, child birth, your baby’s colic or lack of colic, and/or parenting in general are all rites of passage in adulthood. Who am I to stop a tradition that’s lasted for millenia?

Hopefully sooner, and not later, I get used to these things and can recount this period of time with affection and maybe a laugh or two so when it’s my turn to be the sympathetic, bifocal wearing friend, I sound convincing.

And I hope I never have to wear trifocals. I don’t want to go through this again.

Tuesday Randomness

TUESDAY RANDOMNESS

Seven days from now (as of the time I’m typing this), I will officially be a college student. I’m equal parts excited, nervous and wanting to pinch myself because I can’t believe this is actually happening.

College was something that I had, when I was younger, convinced myself I didn’t deserve, nor was I worthy of going.  It didn’t matter that I am really, really smart. I always heard growing up how incompetent I was.

College was one of the very deep issues behind my anxiety and depression. I deeply regretted not going, not so much for the degree, but the opportunity to learn and be challenged. And it’s not that I didn’t try to go to college–I did. When I was 28 I was ready to do it, but then other things happened and that was that.

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The protests in Ferguson, MO have made the news. It seems on a nightly basis that the police are violating people’s constitutional rights (like freedom of the press) while other people come in from out of town to cause trouble.  I’m not going to get into a big debate on this story, as I’m still trying to sort out the facts from the distractions, but as this story unfolds, you’d think that it would be the top trending topic on Twitter.

Nope.

While people were getting tear-gassed in Missouri or dying from Ebola, everyone was more concerned with the fact that Johnny Douchewaffle Football Manziel, flipped off the Washington Redskins’ bench. They were so concerned, that in the span of 5 minutes, my Twitter feed was filled with images of the rookie QB flipping the bird.

It’s nice to know where our priorities lie.

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Source: Pinterest/Tumblr

 

And finally, because I love music so much, I leave you with a song…

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. I love this particular video because of those audience shots of people just having a really good time. It puts me in a good mood.

 

The Prodigal Son Returns

The prodigal son is coming home.

The Green Bay Packers, the Packers Hall of Fame and Brett Favre made a joint announcement on Monday that Favre, Quarterback for the Green & Gold from 1992 to 2008, will be inducted into the Packers Hall of Fame next year and there will be a ceremony at a game yet to be determined, where the Packers will retire Favre’s number.

Continue reading “The Prodigal Son Returns”