40 Years

As I start my third semester of college this week, I was reminded that it’s been 40 years since I started Kindergarten.

Also, 40 years ago, they’re saying, Bruce Springsteen’s  Born to Run was released.

I don’t have much to say today, mostly because I’m tired and my brain is tired. I have Chemistry this semester. It’s going to be a lot of work.

Today’s post is just a song.


Tramps like us…baby, we were born to run…


Sunday Stuffed-Up Sunday

I got nuthin’ today. Still feeling stuffy and dizzy and vertigo-y and tired. So I will just leave you with a random song from one of my Spotify playlists.



Face It. We’re All Whiners and Complainers

Today was the best day I’ve had in over a week. Saw my psych today and I’m going on a new anti-depressant.

Weatherwise, it’s sunny, but it’s also very, very humid. Moist is a good word to describe today. It’s a word that everyone hates to describe something that feels miserable.

I did go on the Tweeter last night during the Packers game. I was also very impressed by the rookies who played.

I think my vertigo issues are ear issues. I will probably end up seeing a doctor, if for nothing else, I can’t find where they keep the Murine. (Murine is stuff that softens ear wax.)  I haven’t had to use that stuff since I was a kid.

One of my FB friends posted about how it seems that we’re not happy unless we have something to complain about.

Now this is my opinion, but I agree and I believe that this is so because it’s easier to be negative than it is to be positive. I also believe that society expects nothing but perfection, and because we know, deep down, we’re not perfect, we have to find something to criticize because it makes us feel better about ourselves.  I’ve had my own issues with Perfectionism. Besides it being paralyzing, it’s also very poisonous.

It’s easy to sit back and spout platitudes about not complaining. In reality, it’s really hard to not complain. Hard, but not impossible.

In order to attempt this, you have to be very mindful of the words that are coming out of your mouth. You have to be mindful of what you are thinking and mindful of that moment when those thoughts become actual words. You can only catch yourself when you start complaining if you are paying attention to what you are actually saying.

You really have to retrain your brain to focus on the positive. One way to do that is to write down at least one thing you are grateful for every day. 

(And yes, I’ve been slacking on this.)

You don’t have to make it public. You can share it with the world if you wish. The point is to just do it.

Negativity breeds more negativity. And face it, there is a lot of negativity out there. Whether it’s on the news, on Facebook, or even in our own hearts…it’s there.  The only way to get rid of negativity is by being positive.

Being positive is a choice. It also doesn’t mean that you’re ignoring serious things going on. Choosing to be positive means that you’re choosing to not allow the negative to consume you. When you can be positive, it’s easier to put the negative into perspective. When things are in perspective, they are easier to face and to handle.

As cliche as it sounds, happiness really is difficult.

One last thing: depression isn’t all gloom all the time. I have good days and I have not so good days. It’s tempting to not want to blog about the good days because nobody wants to hear about that. People tend to think of the bad days and the dark days when they think of depression. However, it’s bad for me to dwell in the negative. While it helps me to write about the bad days, it’s just as helpful for me to talk about the good days.

The song for today is one of my go-to songs when I’m feeling defiant and fierce. It’s Crumblin’ Down by John Cougar Mellencamp. The lyric you can bend me/you can break me/but you’d better stand clear… is the one that resonates with me the most, especially when I’m feeling like the ass-kicking, fierce woman I am.

I’m feeling especially like kicking ass today. 🙂

Clouds in my Coffee

Today was just…meh. It was neither good nor bad. I was able to get up and do things. But I’m also experiencing periods of vertigo, particularly when I move from a lying position to a sitting position and vice-versa.

Not the good kind of "high", either.
Not the good kind of “high”, either.

My ears do feel plugged and so do my sinuses.  I suspect that this may have something to do with my seasonal allergies. Weed pollen is especially bad today. I’m beginning to think that what I had to take for my springtime allergies isn’t necessarily going to work for ragweed season. Maybe I should just get a shot and stop messing around with nasal sprays and pills.

Tomorrow is pay day. I also have my appointment to get my meds re-evaluated. I’m looking forward to it.

Tonight is the first Packers preseason game and now that I have cable TV, I can actually watch it because it’s on NFL Network. But it’s against the Patriots, so all they’ll be talking about is Tom Brady’s flaccid balls. I’m not all that hopeful that NFL Network will carry the Packers’ broadcast, if for no other reason, it’s a Patriots’ home game.

I’m trying to muster enthusiasm for this game, but I’m all out of muster. Since this outlet is a place for me to be honest, I’m being honest when I say that I’m having trouble mustering up enough excitement about football, period.  Between my opinion on the Commish (he’s a douche canoe), knowing what I know about why die-hard fans of basically anything behave the way they do when the fortunes of their team turn towards the bad (because I wrote a research paper on it for English 101 last year), and my not being too fond of how Commissioner Douche Waffle has turned my favorite sport into a “brand”, my enthusiasm is waning.  I’m also not fond of people saying that the Packers will win Super Bowl 50 at this point because whenever the media and everyone else say the Packers will (fill in the blank), they don’t. I guess I’m superstitious that way.

I will always be a Packers fan until the day I die. Perhaps I just need a break from things. It’s gotten to the point where it’s not even fun to be on Twitter during games anymore because of A) people who take things way too seriously and B) People with absolutely Zero sense of humor.  When I have to explain jokes, it’s time to stop.

My post title comes from the fact that it’s cloudy today and not because I have that Carly Simon song stuck in my head. Although, using that phrase as my post title has undoubtedly planted that earworm in my brain.

I’m hoping that the vertigo eases off enough for me to do my errands tomorrow. I have groceries to buy and appointments to keep.

Today’s song is the one that’s actually stuck in my head right now:



No, I Haven’t Dropped Off the Face of the Earth

I’m just busy with school and all.

I actually saw this coming, which is one of the reasons why I stopped self-hosting and went back to WordPress hosting. I may self-host again in the future, but it makes no sense to pay for a domain I don’t use.

I love being in school. I love learning. And I finally conquered algebra after 30 years and I am no longer afraid of math and science.

Oh, and my 9th grade algebra teacher can suck it. You were sooooo wrong about me!

At the moment, I’m busy writing a paper for English 101, starting the final project for First Year Seminar and hoping to finish Math 095 before Thanksgiving.

In a couple days, I will register for spring semester.

I will write more on the transition to school when I have a little more time. It’s been interesting.